Behind Closed Doors: Secret Sin

            The secrecy, the shame, the guilty after effect; it’s not worth it. This is not a post to condemn but to HELP those struggling with masturbation and porn and to let them know that it IS possible to break free from. Believe it or not, it has become more common and serious than we make it out to be. Just to show you how real this is, let’s take a look at a few recent statistics. Did you know? That every 30 seconds, 28,258 internet users are viewing pornography? That the average age of first internet exposure to porn is 11 years old? Or that 90% of 8-16 year olds have watched porn online while doing homework? That’s just a few general statistics, but it doesn’t stop there. Most people think pornography is an issue just for men or children, but WOMEN are addicted too. 70% of women are keeping their addiction a secret,  1 of 3 visitors to adult websites are women, and a total of 9.4 million women access adult websites each month. Believe me when I say that masturbation and porn are dangerous issues that continue to get worse…in AND out of the church. Just like any other addiction, it’s not the easiest to quit, but at the end of the day, it will never be worth it.

          You know the cycle, you watch a little porn or see a dirty picture, and you get a little aroused and boom you’re in the mood, so you either have sex or you masturbate to please yourself, then the guilt sets in. “What have I done?” “Why do I keep doing this?” You just feel plain dirty.

          What is “Porn”? Material such as books, magazines, pictures, videos that depict erotic behavior and is intended to cause sexual excitement. Normally, sexual excitement leads to sexual action and that sexual action is either done with someone else or executed in the act of masturbation: erotic stimulation of one’s own genital organs by manual contact. Some of you may think to yourself that it’s “no big deal”, you’re not bothering or hurting anyone, right? WRONG. You’re hurting yourself. Whether you’re watching porn or having sex with someone else or you’re masturbating, you are still fornicating, which is clearly categorized as sinful. To clarify, the act of fornication is ANY sexual sin outside of marriage. God designed sex as a part of the unique relationship of marriage and marriage only, yet Satan has perverted this beautiful gift with the filth and lustfulness of pornography. When you fornicate, you are sinning against your own body. Yes, a sin is a sin is a sin and there is no greater or smaller degree, HOWEVER, sexual sin is very dangerous because it’s practically vandalism to the temple of God. If we truly believe in God, the Holy Spirit dwells in us. (1 Corinthians 6:19) Why do you do it? As a way to still please yourself while escaping actually acting out sexually, but the reality is if you’ve thought it or watched it, consider it done (Matthew 5:28).

           The lust, the fornication, the perverse thoughts, the secrecy, none of it is from God. But there is a way out. I pray that as you read this or share with someone who needs to read this that the Holy Spirit frees and delivers you from what you thought you couldn’t get away from. There IS a way out and that is through Jesus Christ. He laid His life on the cross  so that we could be free from ALL sin, so that we could be covered by His grace and mercy and be forgiven for all our mistakes. All it takes is for you to accept that this is a problem, give it to Christ and allow Him to make you a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17). There is no sin too big or unforgivable for Jesus to handle. He will always be waiting to help with open arms.

So, in order to give you advice that can actually help and not just tell you to “pray about it” (which is one thing you should still and always do!!), I was able to speak to some strong, transparent folks who dealt with and overcame their issues of masturbation and pornography. Here are a few steps that helped them and I pray it helps you too!

1.)    The first step to recovery is acceptance. Now that you’ve accepted you have a problem, take it to God and repent. Repent meaning admit your wrongdoing and TURN AWAY from. This means throw away any toys, delete pictures, block websites, anything you have to do to make it difficult for you to gain access.

2.)    Guard your heart (Proverbs 4:23). Keep away from music talking about sex or anything dirty, if you’re watching a movie or show that may have an intense sex scene, change the channel! Stop hanging around with people who always talk about sex. It’s just feeding your mind to desire what you shouldn’t.

3.)    Get accountability! Yes, I know it’s very hard to tell someone about your addiction but find someone that you can trust, that can lovingly accept to keep you accountable.  If you still can’t get yourself to tell someone here are a few websites that might help. (x3watch.org , covenanteyes.com) And you can always feel free to e-mail me privately at: savedisme@gmail.com
4.) Most importantly, spend more time with God.Without His help, it is impossible to overcome anything. Not by your own strength,  but His will you defeat this, always remember that. Pray to Him daily about it, or as many times as you have to. When you get the urge, break out into a worship song or just say "Jesus". Trust me, you wont think about that nasty picture you just had in your head after saying that.

God loves you, even through your sins and He desires to help you.You just need to be willing to be helped, accept Him and turn away from it all. I know you can, God knows you can, and YOU WILL!! God bless you! xoxo

Helpful Verses to Keep Close

2 Peter 2:19 – They promised them freedom, but they themselves are slaves of corruption. For whatever overcomes a person, to that he is enslaved.

Matthew 5:28 – But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman (understood for men as well) with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

Philippians 4:8 – Finally brothers, whatever is true,  whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

Galatians 5:16 – But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.